The Week That Was

Shoves, shadow boxing and spiritless spats

Jenny Thompson looks back at the week that was December 4 to 10

Jenny Roesler
Jenny Thompson
11-Dec-2006


Pawar and that shove © Getty Images
Pawar-less to speak
Remember when Damien Martyn shoved Sharad Pawar off the stage at the Champions Trophy presentation? Of course you do. But do you know why? Well, The Guardian revealed this week that it was all down to the MC and Pawar's politeness. Pawar clambered on stage ready to present Australia with the trophy and waited for the MC to announce the event. He was still waiting minutes later, too long for Australia, who shoved him on his way and into the path of post-mortems ad nauseum. And it was Martyn's turn to leave the international stage this week - although he jumped before he was pushed.
The usual, please... oh, and can you deliver 10,000 miles away?
It's perfectly normal to long for home comforts when you're away from the mother country. England fans Down Under are unlikely to hanker for the cold and the dark back in Blighty, but there is one thing one Hertfordshire group has been missing; that staple of fine cuisine, as British as a Spitfire - chicken tikka masala, of course. To that end they are flying in the owner of their local Indian restaurant, Raj Miah, to provide a meal for all ten of them - at a total cost of £1,500. "The idea started off as a bit of a joke," explained the brains behind Mission Masala, Jason Corrin. "But when we phoned Raj he was keen, so we worked out the order, just for the usual, some chicken tikka masala, naan bread, a few Cobra beers..." Nice work, lads.
A load of balls
It's good to know that the British Transport Police are protecting London's underground commuters from would-be criminals. Last week, they cautioned a man carrying a hockey stick, unimpressed with his rather feeble excuse that he was on his way to play a match. Now a poor accountant (if that's not an oxymoron) Chris Hurd was accosted by a policewoman at Baker Street , near Lord's, and told that the cricket ball he was holding was a "potentially lethal weapon". "She was completely humourless and inflexible, and showed no understanding of my excitement about the Ashes," he fumed. "She confiscated the ball for most of our conversation, gave me a verbal warning and said she was being very lenient." But a spokesman for the police raised a hitherto unforeseen danger: "What if the ball was dropped and hit an old lady further down the escalator?" Old ladies beware.


The inspiration was Andrew Flintoff, apparently
More balls
And the same old ladies should look out for this next item, too, for different reasons. It's the quick way to get noticed. Whip your kit off, pose for some pictures and it's nude calendars a gogo. This is certainly what the Longridge club in Lancashire had in mind when they came up with their calendar to raise funds for a new pavilion. But if Mr December is anything to go by... well, let's just say he's not putting the hot into hotpot, bless him. The inspiration apparently came from an Andrew Flintoff calendar. I'm sure Freddie will be flattered.
That's not the spirit
New Zealand are at it again - running out hapless No. 11s in unsporting circumstances. This week, Sri Lanka's No. 11 Muttiah Muralitharan was run out for leaving his crease to congratulate Kumar Sangakkara on bringing up his ton. This ended the second innings and the Kiwis cruised to a five-wicket victory. While it may be within the rules - and Murali should know better at his age - it's hardly sporting; it was quite clear that the batsmen weren't going for the run. Neither is this the first time New Zealand have done this. Last year, Zimbabwe 's Christopher Mpofu fell victim to a run-out when he went to congratulate Blessing Mahwire on his fifty: New Zealand crushed them by an innings and 46 runs. At that time they were the holders of the ICC Spirit of Cricket award. This surely takes the 'winning at all costs' mentality to hitherto unseen levels. Whatever next? Fielders to wear stopwatches to time out the incoming batsman for being three hundredths of a second late?
Going down fighting
England's Ashes team may be lying battered and bruised at the moment, but even if they can't get up from the ropes, Andrew Strauss is still engaging in fighting talk. He told men's magazine FHM that if there were a brawl between the two sides, he'd be pretty confident that the English lions would roar. "Fred could take three of the Aussies down," he began, "Steve Harmison would get stuck into two, I could take one ... but they've got some big guys in their squad."
Qoutehanger
"Shane Warne sounds like he is constipated."
Dean du Plessis, a blind commentator in Zimbabwe, explains how he knows when Warne is bowling

Jenny Thompson is assistant editor of Cricinfo